Unlocking My Self-Imposed Debates

"Breakfast today"

“Breakfast today”

My self-imposed debates are internal confrontations consisting of two-sided arguments, declarative exasperation and discussions I hold inwardly every day. It’s usually easy to gauge how my day is going to flow after an exhaustive night of thinking things through. I become entangled in scenarios where I either enjoy the dream or I have obstacles to overcome. I experience the emotional joy or turmoil within them. Round and round, over and over, these thoughts and words continue to loop until I either want to sink down into my pillow, or I long to escape. So many times I have come to a decision or concluded a worrisome and tiring climb up a mountain of problems.

The astrological sign of Libra is symbolized by the scales of justice. I am especially affected by the pull of the moon on the Earth’s tide, when it is moving through this sun sign. I find I am influenced sometimes by indecision, or by mentally trying to balance the scales. At the time of my birth the moon was juxtaposed to Venus, the planet representing this sign. The effect of this is that I suffer an inward dilemma of decision-making … my first tendency is to see both sides of a situation which prompts me to weigh things out and think, should I or shouldn’t I?

When the moon is going through the sign of Pisces, I spend the entire day followed around and feeling haunted by my dreams. They encroach into my daily routines, lingering on the outer edges of my thoughts. I float in-between reality and those fantasy realms of space that transport me into the outer astral planes. It’s the place where my physical body is capable of floating and flying, flitting from place to place and going through challenges that seem to engulf me during the night. It’s no wonder I awaken to feel as if I have not slept at all. Tiredness hampers my body because all night long, I have fought or climbed, or figured out how to save my myself or a loved one from the waves crashing against the rocks, where we are walking and trying to get to the top.

When I stop to ponder my capabilities of thought and of manifestation, I keep gaining glimpses of the way we are connected and woven into the fabric of the universe. Part of becoming human and experiencing life here on this planet is made up of times like these. I marvel at all the things I can do simultaneously, and realize that I am a living being with a thirst for learning, possessing a spirit and soul so I can feel the freedom of discovery. When I take these enlightening individual moments out to inspect them, I love the way I am left with a better understanding of why I decided to come to Earth in the first place.


3 thoughts on “Unlocking My Self-Imposed Debates

  1. Beautifully and magically written, Theresa. It’s nice to see that these struggles of yours result in a heightened and enriched sense of your connection to the Universe and all things.

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