When people want to know about me, who I am, about my job experiences and what type of person I am, I always get that feeling of being placed beneath the powerful lens of a microscope. I mentally pull the covers over my head. Just who is this woman? She claims (if her bio is to be believed) to possess many talents and knowledge on a variety of subjects. She judiciously and regularly offers sage advice; she has an opinion on just about everything. Well why haven’t we heard of her? Better yet, why should we listen to anything she has to say? The answer is easy … I am a deep thinker. Mind you I refuse to be technical, I leave that to the extreme factual sorts. I am creative in my way of seeing the world. One eye on many ugly, distasteful realities heaped upon us by those wishing to control the world, and the other un-jaundiced eye on the rhythm, beauty and balance which can be experienced with each breath I take. We are all miracles, but too many times no one accepts this simple truth.
I can feel unspoken questions from where I sit and I understand the hesitancy about whether you should give me the time of day or not. If you stay put, you’ll soon get to know me and as I have been told numerous times … to know me is in fact, to love me.
When we are born not only do we come complete with our very own DNA, we are embarking on a mission. It’s true! You see we all have jobs to do and whether or not we end up completing them depends upon circumstances, our choices, whether we use our instincts, what we have been told we should do and if we use our heads or our hearts determining the paths we’ll walk. We end up here on our planet. For the first eighteen years of our training and bombardment of others’ ways of seeing a matter, we are at their sole mercy. However, the way we think is some of the real us from within, and the rest is all of the other lessons that we have witnessed and absorbed firsthand or from books, movies, television shows, the media and now by socializing not just in person but also in a magical place called cyberspace.
It’s à propos that at this very moment my cable company is working on technical issues. It’s the second time in a week, but last week it was due to horrendous storms in our area. This time may be fate. I cannot go online … I am left to my own devices. Same as telling your child to go to his or her room and spend time playing, or coloring, or taking a nap. I am presently restricted from playing with my toy and so my mind she does speak volumes. I am to entertain myself, so I decided to embark upon that which is needing to be done and my way of delivering it to you. The project is in deciphering my inner nature, experiences, talents and truths to you. I have placed myself beneath the lens and am taking a look about. Many people might call this soul-searching, I concur to a point and the other side of me believes I am documenting the examined inner-workings of my mind, my nature, and my personality.
We are all complex. We all have talents. I will never be a ballerina, no matter how I long to dance as they do, telling a story with graceful movement, and pounding hard wooden floors with leaps, bounds and pirouettes. Twirling for hours in feminine garb or tutus, to removing toe-shoes revealing over-worked, bloodied and ravaged feet. I will never break dance or be a gymnast, even though I watch them with bated breath while they contort themselves and slam their bodies onto the dance floor. There is romance in dance and although I can dance and am good at it, I will never be good enough for the dream of a dancing career. Oh well. Still I may appreciate and express my own gladness in their pursuits and triumphs.
There are so many things I will never be. I AM what I AM and no less and no more. Whatever I have achieved up to this point in my life, and what I will do is still unfolding before me, so I walk the paths and I dream my dreams and while on my journey, I am a teacher to those who want to know, who need guidance and good feedback here in cyberspace. I am a Social Butterfly … I am a Social Diva.
This is all for now. I can unfold myself only a bit at a time, for even to myself I display levels of complexities that I do not see simultaneously. In the meantime, please accept these rays of hope, and I ask you to begin examining yourself. You might be surprised at what you uncover.
To be continued …
Part Two: Sometimes I Do And Sometimes I Do Not
Part Three: Reasonings Within