Creative Life and Dark Days

I wonder how many times throughout the day I have to remind myself to stay up, positive, pumped-up. That’s what happens in the day-to-day life of a creative person. In this instance, mine.

Being born this way, creative, has it’s drawbacks. I see the world the way I want it to be. How it seemed to be, whilst I was growing up. A more hopeful place. Even a wondrous place.
Over the past two decades, things have changed in negative and mean ways. Dramatic ways. There seems to have been an realm of individuals born on this planet, that are of a different stock than those of my ilk. The many times I have picked up the newspaper, or turned on the news to hear … what! More bad news.

On the other hand, technology has been developing at a mind-boggling pace and increases more every day. You purchase an item and three days later, another, updated version has been developed.

The Inter Net has been the biggest component, in drawing the people of the world together, helping and encouraging us to learn and be more tolerant of others. This works both ways. I must confess that when I think of third world countries I am shocked to see huge skyscrapers and bustling cities. Then I chastise myself because I have kept myself so shrouded in the USA way of life. Believing in my compartmentalized mind, that other than Europe, everyone else, is still living in underdeveloped countries.

I have been concentrating so much on what has gone wrong within my own country, cities, suburbs that I have failed to keep an open mind. For this I am sorry and must plead ignorance.

Together with the changing world, everyday existence and with prices rising on all things, just trying to keep things together month-to-month … it becomes a balancing act. Being creative is sometimes more of a chore than a blessing. During these strained days, I find myself spiraling down into the great abyss, and when I have reached the bottom, somehow, I find my way out again.

As of late, I have been tracking these downward trials, which I find myself in. They seem to occur twice monthly, for about a thirty-six hour period. You might ask why in the world I subject myself, or open myself up to the world? Because someone else out there goes through this same horrid depression, for want of a better description. I do not drink it away and I take no pills. I deal with it.

It seemed to me a better thing to openly admit to my imperfections, and questions, why it is harder to create during these hours of dismal, downward fall. For those of you who think I walk around with a delightful countenance, smiling and radiating a happy face smile … I brood. I torment myself. I sometimes despair.

But I am resilient too. This is the side of me that most see. This is the creative and light side of my personality. This is when I find it easier to stay optimistic and hopeful. This is when I can easily send thought waves of love and be uplifting when I create. When I love the world.

In future, perhaps I will let myself create during a dark time, and we’ll see what artwork the other side brings. Peace, out.

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About Theresa H Hall

As a professional vocalist. licensed broadcaster, artist, published poet, lyricist, writer, essayist, critic, animal lover and budding pastr View all posts by Theresa H Hall

3 responses to “Creative Life and Dark Days

  • whypaisley

    yes… you really should… i do some of my best work when i am devastated… i find it is an excellent emotional motivator….

  • rosehavencottage

    Theresa, You are experiencing a phenomenon that many women who are creative experience. We are more cyclical creatures much like the moon, the ocean, the seasons than our male counterparts. Have you read Dr. Christiane Northrup’s books? I highly recommend them. She addresses this very thing you write about. And always know that you can email me during those dark periods… Why? Because I’ve been there and know what it is like. Warm hugs, Cindy at Rosehaven Cottage

  • walksfarwoman

    Theresa, I could feel you weren’t yourself but I thought it was just the spamming of your exceptional blog that was getting to you – as it would anyone. Yes creative people have such lows yet also some great highs. Emotions have drowned me, rung me out and hung me out to dry in unkind climates so I know your frustration. Please take heart and work through this period knowing that it’s going to pass. Good moods or foul – we’ll all still be here waiting. x

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