I wonder how many times throughout the day I have to remind myself to stay up, positive, pumped-up. That’s what happens in the day-to-day life of a creative person. In this instance, mine.
Being born this way, creative, has it’s drawbacks. I see the world the way I want it to be. How it seemed to be, whilst I was growing up. A more hopeful place. Even a wondrous place.
Over the past two decades, things have changed in negative and mean ways. Dramatic ways. There seems to have been an realm of individuals born on this planet, that are of a different stock than those of my ilk. The many times I have picked up the newspaper, or turned on the news to hear … what! More bad news.
On the other hand, technology has been developing at a mind-boggling pace and increases more every day. You purchase an item and three days later, another, updated version has been developed.
The Inter Net has been the biggest component, in drawing the people of the world together, helping and encouraging us to learn and be more tolerant of others. This works both ways. I must confess that when I think of third world countries I am shocked to see huge skyscrapers and bustling cities. Then I chastise myself because I have kept myself so shrouded in the USA way of life. Believing in my compartmentalized mind, that other than Europe, everyone else, is still living in underdeveloped countries.
I have been concentrating so much on what has gone wrong within my own country, cities, suburbs that I have failed to keep an open mind. For this I am sorry and must plead ignorance.
Together with the changing world, everyday existence and with prices rising on all things, just trying to keep things together month-to-month … it becomes a balancing act. Being creative is sometimes more of a chore than a blessing. During these strained days, I find myself spiraling down into the great abyss, and when I have reached the bottom, somehow, I find my way out again.
As of late, I have been tracking these downward trials, which I find myself in. They seem to occur twice monthly, for about a thirty-six hour period. You might ask why in the world I subject myself, or open myself up to the world? Because someone else out there goes through this same horrid depression, for want of a better description. I do not drink it away and I take no pills. I deal with it.
It seemed to me a better thing to openly admit to my imperfections, and questions, why it is harder to create during these hours of dismal, downward fall. For those of you who think I walk around with a delightful countenance, smiling and radiating a happy face smile … I brood. I torment myself. I sometimes despair.
But I am resilient too. This is the side of me that most see. This is the creative and light side of my personality. This is when I find it easier to stay optimistic and hopeful. This is when I can easily send thought waves of love and be uplifting when I create. When I love the world.
In future, perhaps I will let myself create during a dark time, and we’ll see what artwork the other side brings. Peace, out.